Erfgoeters van my: Who am I?????

It seemed impossible for me to answer the question, ‘Who am I?’ when I heard that this would be the main task of our next project for Integral. As I forced myself to determine what my answer could possibly be, I realised that I would probably not be able to answer this question by just listing the traits I think I have but that I would have to explore exactly how I behave in certain situations, treat people and probably most importantly comparing my acts to my thoughts, comparing it to the morals I think I live to and the things I think I value. This would enable me to see if I am really the person who I think I am. For the outcome to be true I would have to be honest with myself and put effort in the exploration of the different facets that I potentially have. I found that the Personality Pathways test, found at http://www.personalitypathways.com/type_inventory.html (test); http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ISFP.html (interpretation), was quite accurate. I had to answer this in honesty and keep in mind that some of the result would obviously not be perfectly accurate.

The first thing I could agree with the results of the test was the way I think and this was also the first thing I described myself as when we had to introduce ourselves in the first class of this subject at the beginning of the year. I often find myself over thinking and analysing things. I set the scene or situation in my head, identify the problem and think of possible solutions, thriving on theoretical possibilities. This pattern of thought happens consciously and sometimes unconsciously, all the time and with every situation in my day. Sometimes I choose to act on these thoughts and sometimes I ignore them because of me being conscious of over thinking and me wanting to be a person that lives in the moment, eventhough I know that this kind of logical thinking can be seen as a strength.

This adds on to the fact that I am absolutely future-oriented and constantly find myself dreaming up the life I would built for myself. This then unfortunately comes with more pre-thought up trouble-shootings that I would try and think through, annoying myself once again…

My filled head is most of the time the reason why I would not be completely present in a group and with rich imagination I often find the external world pale in comparison. Admitting this makes me feel selfish and the need to push myself to be more present and considerate, applying high standards for myself to perform and focusing on self-sufficiency. This is another trait of that makes me feel selfish because I often does not want to be helped with tasks and hurt loved ones against my better judgment at the time.

Understanding that my way of thought often make my actions seem self-centred, I make the effort to try and really place myself in other’s shoes before I act. I also find myself not sharing the whole of myself with others because of it, especially in the beginning.

I open up to the few people that becomes quite close to me. Once this happen I will stay loyal, faithful and supportive. This would only change if I feel betrayed in some way and that we could not come to an agreement about the situation. In all relationships I welcome conflict, not because I enjoy it but because I know this only happens because both party’s care and because I know that it’s the only way to find a solution that suits both party’s needs. I always try to seek the truth and believe that without it and trust a relationship does not stand a chance.

In contrast with this logical thinking, I dislike routine or to follow others but have no desire to lead either and I thoroughly enjoy abstract creativity and get very excited about new ideas and other’s interpretations.

For this project I found insperation inresearching geometrical shaped garment designs; analytical artforms; and futuristic designs:

painting by Martal Chapman

painting by Paulo Zerbato

designs by Xuan-Thu Nguyen

futuristic designs by Roxanna Zamani

design by Milkboss Industries

In conclusion I designed and made a hoodie to describe a few facets of myself. I chose to make a hoodie because of it having a hood and because I identified with the tracksuit fabric its usually made of. I made a basic pattern for it and cut it into multipale squares and triangles that fits perfectly into eachother; this describes my logical and and analytic way of thinking and could also describe the different layers we all have that forms the unique individuals we are. This gave an edgy feel to it and I soften this with the soft tracksuit fabric that provides comfort- a feeling most of us have towards this because of the tracksuits our parents loved us to wear when we were little – explaining that eventhough I don’t always think in a caring manner, I do have feelings and show it in being loyal, faithful and supportive. I chose to use two colours to indicate the contrast between the person I am inside and the person I choose to be with others. I used red to symbolise the anger I sometimes feel towards my way of thought and act (impatiently and short-tempered) because of it. The white could symbolise the person good person I want to be at all times. I chose to use the conventional zip to close the hoodie but to symbolise my excitement for new ideas and uniqueness by placing the zip diagonally from hip to shoulder and up, over the hood. This enable the wearer to close the hood as well – symbolising that I often feel shy meeting new people; fell ashamed the person I am inside; and the fact that I try to keep a part of me to myself. The busyness immediately observed when looking at the hoodie, could suggest my busy thoughts.

Documentation

Pattern drafting and fabric cutting